Embryonic Journey..: Birth Story

Tuesday around 12:30/1 am, I was admitted into the hospital — to be induced. I was exactly 41 weeks by this point and ready to pop this baby out! Little did I know…

At 2 am they broke my water — a long chop stick looking object poked inside me and I gushed what felt like really warm pee. I held Matthew’s hand the entire time, just staring at him; I was nervous. I had sexy mesh underwear put on me and a pillow pad. I was told that because my water was now broken, taking a bath to relieve contractions was not happening.

My nurse drew blood and, get this, gave me a vile to shake. Yeah, a vile of my fresh warm blood to play with — to distract me, she said. Soon after I was hooked up to pitocin. The first contractions weren’t too bad — I tried watching a movie but decided sleep would be more beneficial.

Matthew dozed off, and then my contractions began.

I refused all medication until 1:30 pm — I had enough. I got the epidural and it was such a relief! By this point I was 6 cm dilated. I think I did pretty well though. But apparently everyone thought I was demonic. I bounced on that ball and Matthew rubbed my back through every contraction. Each contraction was 30 seconds a part, and strong!

When I went to the washroom, I had to take a shit (I’m such a lady) and let me just say, trying to poo and breathe through a contraction is not very fucking easy.

At about 4:30 pm, the nurse woke me up to do an internal. I thought for sure I’d be dilated at least 8 cm … nope. I was barely 7 cm which meant between 1:30 and 4:30, I didn’t dilate. Baby’s heart beat was rising but they assured me, it wasn’t an emergency. They gave me the option to wait until I dilate (or until it turns into an emergency) or have a c-section. I cried. I didn’t want to have a c-section because I wanted the experience of child birth — feeling her head crowning, pushing, etc., etc., But I didn’t want to risk her safety.

I told them I decided on the c-section and as the nurses came in to wheel me to the operating room, I realized I couldn’t find my cell phone. They looked everywhere, nothing. But that wasn’t important, so off I went. When I was in the operating room, they rubbed some stuff on my belly, injected more drugs into my IV, put up the curtain that was way too fucking close to my face and ignored me. I was thirsty; my tongue was dry and I felt like I was going to vomit. My hands were shaking uncontrollably. I was incredibly nervous. I kept passing out. I finally saw Matthew and my Mom, and then they started cutting. I felt lots of pressure and I moaned through it all, but when they went to grab her out, I felt the tugging and screamed. Then gushed. I was convinced I was gushing blood. I was convinced I was going to die. I kept asking why she wasn’t crying, was she okay? But I heard her, and passed out. Matthew brought her over to me and showed me her face — she looks exactly like him. He asked me what I want to name her and I told him I like Violet, he smiled and that was it. My breathing slowed and I passed out again.

Did I mention he cried. He sobbed. Loud sobs when they pulled her out. It was beautiful. He loves her so much — immediate love.

When they lifted me onto the stretcher, they found my cell phone stuck to my back! Luckily it was on silent so I wasn’t vibrating or ringing the whole time haha.