Making a List, Checking it Twice

Yeah I definitely need to make a name list. I have so many fucking ideas.
Anyway I'm keeping this brief.
I went to the OB and I weigh 160 -- I lost 3 pounds. My cervix is still less than 2 cm dilated but he did another sweep, and I'm cramping and spotting. So maybe this is it? If not, I have an induction on Monday.
Will post more later. I'm tired.

Violet!

Oh yeah, I found another name that I like. Love. Must have. Need.
Violet.
My boyfriend isn't too keen because it reminds him of Willy Wonka. Well, fuck Kairi reminds me of a little anime chick running around with key blades and Donald and Goofy. But he thinks that's cool. Ok, it's cool to him. Let Violet be cool to me and let's stop with the fucking name game. I hate this game!

Ouch

Pressure, cramping, diarrhea? Baby get the hell out, please.

I cannot wait to move out

I'm getting really, really sick of living here.
I'm also getting really sick of being a walking incubator.
GET OUT FETUS, NOW!

Tomorrow is our due date!

But I have a feeling Little Miss will be a no-show.
Yesterday Matthew and I took a bunch of photos so here they are:

GTFO

GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT

Like Father Like Daughter

Fetus isn't moving anymore. I can obviously feel her knees bunched up and her hiccups, but she is no longer flailing. I think she has officially ran out of room. I am so excited to finally meet her! 4 days until EDD -- but I think she'll be an overdue baby. Stubborn like her father, that's for damn sure.

Second Sweep

I weigh about 163 lbs now. That's disgusting. I have gained a total of 40 pounds.
I got another membrane sweep except this time there was no blood on his glove, and no spotting afterwards. Hardly any cramping. I don't think it worked. But my mucous plug is gone! (OB confirmed) Also, the baby's head is pretty much locked and loaded -- she's ready for take off. I'm still only 1 cm dilated which is a big fucking piss off.

Reminder!

I have to remember to specifically ask my doctor if my mucous plug is gone or still intact. I also have to ask him the progress of my dilation -- if any. I want another sweep. I'm also going to tell him (more like, beg) that if I am more than 2 cm dilated at 40 weeks -- I want a pitocin induction. I wanted to do this drug free but I am not waiting until 41 weeks. No. I refuse.

Contractions?

I have pressure in my lower ab/vagina area. I also have an intense version of menstrual cramps -- they're coming and going. Not lasting very long. I'm not timing it because I'm convinced this is just BH. I'm not wincing in pain and people say that contractions hurt and you want to die and rip out your spleen. I'm uncomfortable, but I'm okay.

We'll be parents in a week

Hurry Up!

We've basically decided that Aviana Kairi Perdomo is our little girl's name. We have seven days to change our mind. I hope we don't.

Wednesday is my next appointment and I'm getting another sweep. I want this child out of me! I am covered in road maps (stretch marks) and I feel disgusting. I know they're not going to disappear when the baby is here (although I wish they would), but the sooner baby is out, the less of chance in getting more. I just want to lose weight and wear normal clothes, dammit!

Tick Tock

Still no sign of baby. It's officially been 48 hours and I suppose the membrane strip did not work. FUCK. Why won't this child get out? WHY?

Another Update

I forgot to mention, I now weight 158. That's two pounds in one week. Mother of God.
Also, my strep B swab came back negative which means me and Baby are perfect.
And OB confirmed that I have PUPPP. I got a prescription cream for it but it is not helping with the itching. I am in pain and so itchy, I am not happy.

As of right now, I'm still bleeding/spotting (but it's dark) and a lot of cramps as well as pressure. I'm not sure how to really tell if I'm having contractions but there has been no significant pain where I'm on the verge of tears -- so I don't think labour has hit me full fledge yet.

Membrane Sweep/Strip

I got my membranes stripped! Find out what that means here
I am barely 2 cm dilated, but he did it anyway! There was a lot of pressure and my eyes welled up with tears. It was really awkward because he was in there for a long time, and we were talking (about pregnancy stuff, obviously) and making eye contact. Ladies, eye contact during an internal is never, ever cool. The only time I enjoy staring deep into a mans eyes whilst having my vagina probed is DURING SEX! Anyway, he showed me his fingers (so much awkwardness at this appointment) and said that there's a bit of blood, which is normal, and I'll continue to spot. I am spotting, at first it was very dark red blood and brown, now it's a lighter red. I'm cramping now. And I have lots of pressure -- since leaving the OB office. It hurts to walk. Apparently if it's effective labour starts within 24 - 48 hours, but I could still go for the whole 40 weeks and beyond. My next appointment is on the thirteenth and if there is no baby, I will request another sweep.
As much as I want this little girl out, I'd still like to have some awesome sex before 6 weeks of celibacy. OB also said that "sexual relations" will help me dilate. Where is my damn boyfriend when I need him?!

Labour, it's near

Well obviously it's near -- I'm due in 11 days. But I predict I'll pop sooner.

Let's see what OB says!

Almost a name decision, almost

After much consideration, as you know, I have decided that my daughter's middle name will be Kairi. There is no question about it, nothing else will do. Kairi is a part of her name, it just has to be. However, the first name is still up in the air.
My Dad and I have very little contact other than random texts every couple of weeks, but he decided that he'd partake in the name game. Several times he suggested the name Avy. I was confused as to where in hell he pulled that name from, but then I thought about it. Last week at my OB appointment I was reading a magazine and seen Amy Adam's daughter -- Aviana. I really like that name! I have a first cousin (in BC ... she is 3 ... I have never met her, and probably never will) and her name is Arianna. Yes, they rhyme but, like I said, I'm never going to see her therefore if I eliminated this name it'd be just as logical as eliminating a name because the president's daughter's cousin is named that. Anyway! I really like Aviana because 1) it flows so well with Kairi, 2) one of the nicknames is Avi (Avy) -- even though my Dad hardly deserves involvement in the naming process of my daughter, 3) the other nicknames such as Av, Ava, Ana, are all too lovely to pass up, and 4) I just adore the damn name. I really want Matthew to like it! We haven't really agreed on anything except Chloe and Norah ...but they just don't feel right. Aviana feels right! I just hope I don't change my mind again!

Family

It amazes me how so much has changed since August 2010.

• I found out I was pregnant
• Debated abortion
• Battled with Matthew because I wasn't terminating
• Became best friends with my Grandmother
• Constant battles
• Long, endless fights
• My Mother briefly relapsed
• I finished E-class with an 85
• Contacted resources which have helped so much
• Matthew fell in love with our fetus
• Stood up to my Mother
• Grew very distant from my Mother -- resentment
• Cut off all contact with my Step Father
• Began setting my future plans
• Matthew agreed to move in with me

A lot has changed ... I have lost the people I considered family growing up. But, I have created a new family within these nine months -- an amazing family. I love my boyfriend with all of my heart, body, mind and soul. Yes, I sound like an 80's track list. I love my daughter with everything inside of me -- we love our daughter. I am very excited to get an apartment with my family, this July! I know it's going to be a struggle, it's going to be hard, and sometimes it's going to be really frustrating and I might even have thoughts of regret -- but if I didn't have Matthew or my daughter (who really needs a name) I would not feel as complete as I do now. My education is around the corner, I'm just relying on the government for help. My future is within arms reach -- my future is a reality, not just a possibility. I will make it all happen. We will do it together, as a family. I cannot wait! I love life.

Mucous Plug

I believe I lost my mucous plug this afternoon. It was a big ball of goop. Several hours later I started cramping a lot. Then around 9 I started having cramps/contractions? every 15/20 minutes. Nothing intense at all. Tolerable, slightly more uncomfortable than period cramps. I'm not too worried. If this keeps me from sleeping then I'll know it's the real deal but for now, I'm in denial. I actually believe I will never give birth.

Two weeks left

I really wish I had the apartment with my boyfriend already. I cannot stand being in the same breathing space as my Mother. This is not immaturity speaking, because I've had this thought ever since I could remember. I am not my Mother's daughter. Not at all.

I still don't have a name for my little fetus either. I need to start thinking! But with all the other shit that's going on, it's so hard to concentrate -- I'm searching frantically for affordable apartments, I need to figure out how to enroll in school and get subsidized daycare on time, I need a pediatrician...

On Thursday I'm going to beg my OB to give me a membrane sweep. I want this little girl out. I'm getting too fat, too sore, too crampy, too miserable, too tired. I want her out! I want to see my source of happiness.

Two weeks left! Looking back on my first posts, I cannot believe the day is so near.

PUPPS

I believe I have this...

Pruritic Urticarial Papules and Plaques of Pregnancy

It is the biggest pain in the ass. Err -- stomach. It is constantly itchy, not to mention highly unattractive. I want this pregnancy to hurry up and finish so I can go back to my non-round self and NOT BE ITCHY!

The Name Game

I think I will pick 3 names and decide at birth what fits my daughter most.

Chloe, Naomi and ...

But Chloe doesn't fit with Kairi so I have to come up with potential middle names.
Alicia? Chloe Alicia.

Damn, I don't know.