Laugh At Me..

My boyfriends friend told him that deep down he must love me, and my boyfriend said he couldn't stop laughing. Then his sister asked if I was going to college in September, and he laughed. I can't go to college right away because I have a child - yet he's able to go. I hope he gets into a good fucking career so he can start paying some wicked child support. Fucking asshole.

I'm a failure

I told him that I wish we still had what we used to have. And he said "Lose the attitude and the baby and maybe it could work. But shit its too late for that" ..........I feel like such a failure. I'm bringing my daughter into the world with a father LIKE THIS! I really wish I weren't pregnant -- but at least now I know what kind of "man" I'm with. I didn't respond after he said that, and 25 minutes later he says, "See you make me say rude things, like just be normal...."

Kill me.

Broke

We're broke. My Mom is broke, and I'm talking negative 200 $ in her bank account. How are we going to pay rent? I don't know... I can't even get a job to help out! I don't know what to do..

Bumped Up To 2 Week Visits

I am in my third trimester which means, drum roll, I get to see my beautiful, ha, ObGyn every two weeks now! Isn't that just great? If they weigh me every two weeks, I better not see the damn scale move or I'll cry! But good news: my last weigh in was December 26, where I gained a total of 10 pounds. Yeah, 10 big ones. My weigh in today, January 26, I only gained, drum roll PLEASE!, 2 pounds! Oh yeah, baby! That's ALLLL BABY! If I can keep this up til April 19th, I will be able to shed these pounds as easily as I put them on. Pre pregnancy weight was 123 lbs ... right now I sit at 140 lbs ... The max I want to weigh is 150. Absoloute maximum! Because I figure after I give birth, I'll be breastfeeding (and bfing gets you fit in no time) I'll be down to 125 after just two weeks. That's the dream, baby!

I also heard her heartbeat, and asked the ObGyn if there's any chance I can get another ultrasound in the next few weeks .......highly doubt it. Oh well! Come on baby girl!

82 more days!

...and Alexia is still standing as the name!

Lots of clothes!

I received 3 big bags of used baby clothing from my friend's sister and today I sorted through them all - divided the sizes into their own bags so now I have one big bag of 0 - 3 mos clothing, another bag of 6 - 9 mos and another one for 9 + (going to 18 months!) ...I also have a bag of SHOES! And a bath tub haha. I obviously will get more clothes, but this is amazing! I don't have to go shopping for clothes until she's almost 2! YAY! I'm not looking forward to laundry though....ahhh.

84 days to go!!!!

My cousin will be giving me her crib, it's just missing some screws haha, need to get that and a mattress and I'm good to go! Come on baby!

Emotions Overload

I've been incredibly emotional lately; crying over being stressed, crying over not having sex, crying because my boyfriend rolled over to sleep and didn't want to cuddle - crying over good news, tv shows, happy moments, headaches ...everything ...I cry so much! I was at his cousin's for their daughters birthday and I got terrible stomach pains! Felt like diahrea - but nothing came out, haha TMI ..when I was standing I had a severe headache and felt dizzy, and I also felt like I was going to puke - so I spent 10 minutes on the toilet at their house and 20 minutes on the washroom floor. Quite embarassing.
Matthew has a calendar in his room marking every week gestation as well as our prenatal classes and my birthday! haha It made me really happy to know that he was thinking of me when he put it up :)
Also! A certain someone is actively trying to get pregnant! It's a secret so no one knows but oooo I am soo excited!

85 days left! Can't wait!

87 days left

Alexia really seems like the official name. She's moving A LOT! I find myself constantly hungry too. I'm having a hard time finding a middle name. I repierced my lip but I need to get a stud because I'm going to Matthew's family's house tomorrow and I don't want them to think I'm your "typical preggo teen" haha, ah and I have no pretty clothes either. Ahhhhhh.

87 more days!